That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
