Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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