Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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