he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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