His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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