I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
