Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
