In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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