How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm really busy with my period
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