And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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