We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
