Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
