literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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