So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
