Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
