is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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