That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
