Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
