i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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