literally had 100 drinks last night.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
