I wannas sexs uuuuu
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
