Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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