Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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