after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
