dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
