yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
