craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He shit in the fireplace
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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