This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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