The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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