well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
