Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
