So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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