she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
