So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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