Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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