Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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