I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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