Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
