What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
