Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
