I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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