Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
