It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
