Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
