I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize