He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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