she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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