so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
