I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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