Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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